I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut

1ndependent @ 2005-04-14T21:49:00

2005-04-15T04:51:40Z

How can you go from being happy to being sad in 2 minutes? I hate being so emotional its so fucking stupid. I don't even know what to do anymore. Everyone tells me to move on and just forget about it. But I can't do that. Even after all the pain I still can't do it. I don't know why I can't do it. Some days I'll think totally different like I will think that I don't need you. But then the next day I will think the total opposite. Its so fucking stupid. I can't stand it. Why the hell do emotions do that? Fuck.

1ndependent @ 2005-04-12T20:21:00

2005-04-13T03:21:11Z

http://www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=9409503&Mytoken=20050412201743

Check it out...

: /

2005-04-06T13:37:24Z

I know I'm not supposed to be sad anymore, but this is really killing me. I kind of totally spilled my guts to you last night. I told you I would change for you so we could talk more. Then I asked you why you can't care like you used to and you said you didn't know..I don't know whats so wrong with caring like that again. I still care about you more then anything. Why can't you? I want you to more then anything in the whole world. And I'm getting so jealous I can't stand it. It's hard to be around that person now. I know its not your fault. I just can't go from being everything to you to being just normal. I liked being everything to you. I want that again. Why is it so bad to go back to that? Please go back to that..It kills me all the time. I want to be everything to someone. I want that someone to be you. Please tell me why it can't be you. But don't comment and tell me why. Tell me why on the phone so I understand better. Don't on the computer either please? Now I'm going to school to think about this all day. And not talk to you till I get home...and be with the person that its hard to be with. I wish you cared like before...Please care like that again and everything will be ok. : (

1ndependent @ 2005-04-03T20:44:00

2005-04-04T03:56:49Z

Bob you can't leave us. We need you. You're our leader Bob. Everyone in the neighborhood looks up to you. You have to be strong, I know you can do it. I know you don't want this Bobby. No one wants this. I know you have made a few mistakes but you never ever deserved this. I'm sorry this happened to you. Everyone cares about you. Me, Trav, Jon, Jade, Daniel, Chris, Big Trav and Ryan were all so worried about you today. I've never seen us be so quiet. Just walking up and down the street not talking at all just waiting for someone to tell us something new about you.You aren't the person to be paralyzed Bob. You have always been the most daring of us. Always running out or on a skateboard or a bike. Always something. I never see you just sitting unless you're tired. I can't even think of you just sitting in a bed for the rest of your life. This can't be happening to you. Your my hero Bobby. We all love you so much. You're going to be ok.

1ndependent @ 2005-04-03T14:00:00

2005-04-03T21:01:30Z

Why do I even try anymore? It's so useless now..I need to just let go.

1ndependent @ 2005-04-01T18:37:00

2005-04-02T02:38:21Z

I miss the way I used to talk to you. It kills me when I think about how happy it made me and you. I want it back.

1ndependent @ 2005-04-01T01:28:00

2005-04-01T09:31:41Z

Why did you ask me that stupid question if you knew it would hurt me? Maybe you weren't thinking about it or something. But next time you need to think before you ask something like that again. I hate it when you hurt me. I know you don't mean to but you need to think a little more about what your saying to me. Im not mad at you Im just asking you to think before you say something from now on. You haven't been doing that at all lately. I know things are hard for you but you still have to think about not hurting me. When you go off on me it hurts me. I don't go off on you that much because I don't want to hurt you. Why can't you do the same for me? Like you used to?

1ndependent @ 2005-03-31T23:26:00

2005-04-01T07:29:33Z

Ashton is such a cool guy! We talked for such a long time tonight. He is such a good person to talk to. He listens so good and understands everything. I like him a super lot. Hes so cute!

1ndependent @ 2005-03-29T01:51:00

2005-03-29T09:52:00Z

I love you.

1ndependent @ 2005-03-19T22:44:00

2005-03-20T06:44:40Z

You scored as Accident. You will probably die from a accident, like a car crash, or maybe a failed stunt or you missed the net when trapezing.

</td>

Accident

87%

Suicide

67%

Eaten

60%

Gunshot

53%

Posion

47%

Cut Throat

40%

Dissapear

33%

Disease

33%

Suffocated

33%

Stabbed

33%

Bomb

27%

Electric Chair

27%

Drowning

20%

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

1ndependent @ 2005-03-18T06:32:00

2005-03-18T14:33:54Z

I cant stand going to sleep anymore. I see your face in my sleep and when I wake up I know it was just all a dream. I cant stand it. I wish I didnt have to dream about it. Id rather not see anything at all because when I do I cant forget about it. It hurts.

1ndependent @ 2005-03-17T17:04:00

2005-03-18T01:04:22Z

heck yes that is right :)

1ndependent @ 2005-03-16T06:31:00

2005-03-16T14:32:13Z

Fuck you. Your so fucked up. You used to care but you don't anymore. If you don't care why should I care anymore? I don't. Fuck you

1ndependent @ 2005-03-15T16:19:00

2005-03-16T00:29:10Z

You scored as Prep/Jock/Cheerleader.

</td>

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

56%

Loner

38%

Drama nerd

25%

Stoner

25%

Punk/Rebel

25%

Geek

13%

Ghetto gangsta

Goth

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

lol thats cool i guess

You scored as Republican. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'>

</td>

Republican

67%

Democrat

50%

Anarchism

50%

Communism

50%

Fascism

42%

Socialist

33%

Green

33%

Nazi

What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Rocko's Modern Life.

</td>

Rocko's Modern Life

100%

Clarissa Explains It All

67%

The Adventures of Pete and Pete

58%

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

58%

Ren & Stimpy

58%

Rugrats

50%

Double Dare

50%

Legends of the Hidden Temple

42%

Doug

42%

Kablam!

17%

The Secret World of Alex Mack

17%

Which Old School Nickelodeon Show Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

HECK YES!! best show ever!

You scored as Being Drunk in Public. You would most likely cause commotion in public being drunk

</td>

Being Drunk in Public

92%

Fraud

83%

Theft

50%

Murder

42%

Public Nudity

25%

What crime would you most likely commit?
created with QuizFarm.com

1ndependent @ 2005-02-18T20:30:00

2005-02-19T04:31:24Z

The soccer game was so awesome! I love you so much Erica, Renda, Spring, Jessica, Caitlyn, Amanda you guys are the best! Jade you should have came...I missed you : )

1ndependent @ 2005-02-14T18:40:00

2005-02-15T02:40:51Z

i wish i had a Valentine...

1ndependent @ 2005-02-01T19:44:00

2005-02-02T03:45:05Z

someone atleast get a boyfriend so i can be happy for you

1ndependent @ 2005-01-30T15:15:00

2005-01-30T23:16:14Z

since everyone has one of these things now i think i will too do it!

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish I was cooler?

15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?

16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

17. Am I loveable?

18. How long have you known me?

19. Describe me in one word.

20. What was your first impression?

21. Do you still think that way about me now?

22. What do you think my weakness is?

23. Do you think I'll get married?

24. What makes me happy?

25. What makes me sad?

26. What reminds you of me?

27. If you could give me anything what would it be?

28. How well do you know me?

29. When's the last time you saw me?

30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. Do you think I could kill someone?

32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?

33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

1ndependent @ 2005-01-27T21:05:00

2005-01-28T05:06:17Z

we never talk anymore...it really sucks i feel like im losing my best friend

1ndependent @ 2005-01-16T21:34:00

2005-01-17T04:34:28Z

i really miss jeff...everytime i call him no one ever picks up and i leave a message but he never calls me back so im thinking maybes hes in jail again i hope not.. i hate it when hes there i really miss the way he used to hold me and make everything better and how he made me feel so good about myself i need to see him again i havent seen him in a long time alright well heres some pictures of him dont laugh at how ugly i am and i dont know how to make one of those cool links so you will have to live with that leave a comment

Jeff

me and jeff

x2

drunk jeffery

rockstar jeffery

sexy..

jeff and jeremy

sexy x2

1ndependent @ 2004-12-23T12:48:00

2004-12-23T20:48:37Z

I miss my friends...

1ndependent @ 2004-12-06T17:54:00

2004-12-07T01:54:36Z

All the smiles are fake.

1ndependent @ 2004-12-01T15:20:00

2004-12-01T23:21:22Z


the beach is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

1ndependent @ 2004-11-02T20:35:00

2004-11-03T04:36:52Z

GO BUSH!!!! Im sorry i never write in here. ill write more when jade fixes it all cool for me.

1ndependent @ 2004-08-28T16:35:00

2004-08-28T23:36:20Z

Jade when you get your computer back make my journal cooler then it is now!

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	1ndependent
Your haiku:	would most likely cause commotion in public being drunkbeing drunk in
Username:

Created by Grahame